A PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR FAMILIES · 100 CHAPTERS · 513 PAGES
DIANE HOLLISGet the guide
THE COMPLETE FAMILY GUIDE · U.S. EDITION

Before You
Say Goodbye

When everything feels overwhelming, knowing what to ask can make all the difference.

A clear, compassionate reference to help you understand funeral choices, cremation, burial, expenses, paperwork, and the decisions that come next.

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513 pages  ·  100 real chapters  ·  Read at your own pace

Before You Say Goodbye book cover with Diane Hollis
Diane Hollis educational presenterDIANE HOLLISYOUR GUIDE THROUGH THE DETAILS

Most families are asked to make important decisions at a time when they have the least energy to research them. This book was created to put the questions, explanations, and practical next steps in one place—so you can move forward with more clarity, at your own pace.

WHAT YOU'LL FIND INSIDE

Less confusion. Better questions. More informed choices.

Use the chapters that matter to you today. You do not need to read the entire book from beginning to end.

Know what happens next

Understand the first calls, transfers, paperwork, authorizations, and what to expect when working with funeral providers.

Understand your options

Learn about cremation, burial, ceremonies, itemized prices, and the questions worth asking before signing or paying.

Prepare for the practical details

Navigate documents, benefits, digital accounts, estate follow-through, family conversations, and planning ahead.

513Pages
100Chapters
10Topic sections
THE REAL TABLE OF CONTENTS

Explore all 100 chapters.

These are the actual chapter titles from the finished 513-page PDF, organized into ten sections. Select a section to see its chapters and starting pages.

PART 01First responses and handoffs10 chapters
  1. Recognizing an Expected Deathp. 13
  2. When a Death Is Unexpectedp. 18
  3. Who to Call Firstp. 23
  4. At Home, Hospital, or Hospicep. 28
  5. The First Conversation With a Funeral Homep. 33
  6. What Happens to the Bodyp. 37
  7. The First 24-Hour Checklistp. 42
  8. Notifying Close Familyp. 47
  9. The Transfer: What Happens When Someone Leaves Home or the Hospitalp. 52
  10. Identification and the Chain of Custodyp. 57
PART 02Care, timing and providers10 chapters
  1. Refrigeration, Timing, and the Meaning of Carep. 62
  2. When a Medical Examiner or Coroner Is Involvedp. 67
  3. What Families Can Ask Before a Viewingp. 72
  4. Personal Effects, Jewelry, and Clothingp. 77
  5. Transportation Across State Linesp. 82
  6. Choosing the Right Funeral Providerp. 87
  7. The Arrangement Conferencep. 92
  8. Who Does What Behind the Scenesp. 97
  9. The Preparation Room and What It Is Forp. 102
  10. Embalming: When It Is Offered and When It Is Notp. 107
PART 03Ceremony and personal preparation10 chapters
  1. Viewing, Visitation, Funeral, and Memorial: Choosing the Formatp. 112
  2. The Itemized Statement: Read It Before You Signp. 117
  3. Family Decisions When People Disagreep. 121
  4. Questions That Reveal Whether a Funeral Home Is a Good Fitp. 126
  5. The Purpose of Embalmingp. 131
  6. What Happens During Preparationp. 136
  7. Refrigeration and Other Alternativesp. 141
  8. A Viewing Without Embalmingp. 146
  9. Restorative Work and Honest Expectationsp. 151
  10. Clothing, Hair, Makeup, and Personal Detailsp. 156
PART 04Authorization and cremation10 chapters
  1. Consent, Authorization, and the Right Questionsp. 161
  2. When to Ask for a Second Opinionp. 166
  3. Choosing Cremation Without Being Rushedp. 171
  4. From Authorization to the Crematoryp. 176
  5. Identification and Safeguardsp. 181
  6. What Happens During Cremationp. 186
  7. The Return of Cremated Remainsp. 191
  8. Urns, Keepsakes, and the Pressure to Spendp. 196
  9. Scattering: Meaning, Permission, and Practical Realityp. 200
  10. Cremation, Religion, and Family Disagreementp. 205
PART 05Cremation costs, burial and cemeteries10 chapters
  1. The Cremation Price Checklistp. 210
  2. Burial Is a Series of Decisions, Not One Purchasep. 215
  3. Buying a Cemetery Plot: What Ownership Really Meansp. 220
  4. Caskets: Materials, Prices, and the Questions That Matterp. 224
  5. Burial Vaults and Grave Linersp. 229
  6. Opening and Closing Fees and Other Cemetery Chargesp. 234
  7. Headstones, Markers, and Memorial Rulesp. 239
  8. Green Burial and Natural Burial Optionsp. 244
  9. Family Plots, Multiple Burials, and Future Planningp. 249
  10. The Burial Cost Comparison Worksheetp. 254
PART 06Budgeting and the Funeral Rule10 chapters
  1. The Price You Hear Is Not Always the Price You Payp. 259
  2. Reading the General Price Listp. 263
  3. The Basic Services Fee Explainedp. 268
  4. Cash Advances and Third-Party Chargesp. 273
  5. Packages, Upgrades, and the Language of Choicep. 278
  6. Financing a Funeral Without Creating a Second Crisisp. 283
  7. The Obituary, Flowers, and Reception Budgetp. 288
  8. Comparing Three Funeral Quotes Fairlyp. 294
  9. The Final Invoice and the Questions to Ask Before Payingp. 299
  10. The Funeral Rule: What It Protects - and What It Does Notp. 304
PART 07Purchasing rights and planning a farewell10 chapters
  1. The General Price List: How to Use Itp. 309
  2. Caskets, Containers, and the Right to Choosep. 314
  3. Embalming Claims and Permissionp. 319
  4. Itemized Statements and Written Authorizationsp. 324
  5. When a Provider Says You Have No Choicep. 329
  6. Complaints, Documentation, and Finding the Right Regulatorp. 334
  7. The Consumer Rights Checklist Before You Payp. 339
  8. Choosing the Kind of Goodbye That Fitsp. 344
  9. Understanding Viewing, Visitation, Funeral, and Memorialp. 348
  10. Setting a Date Without Creating Unnecessary Pressurep. 353
PART 08Ceremony, beliefs and personal wishes10 chapters
  1. Building a Ceremony That Sounds Like the Personp. 358
  2. Including Children and Vulnerable Family Membersp. 363
  3. Managing Guests, Condolences, and Family Tensionp. 368
  4. A Service Budget You Can Actually Usep. 373
  5. When Faith Shapes the Funeralp. 378
  6. Families With Different Beliefsp. 383
  7. Cultural Traditions Without Stereotypesp. 388
  8. A Secular Goodbye Can Be Deeply Meaningfulp. 393
  9. Military Honors, Public Service, and Community Recognitionp. 398
  10. Honoring Personal Wishes When Relatives Disagreep. 403
PART 09Records, digital accounts and benefits10 chapters
  1. What a Death Certificate Actually Recordsp. 408
  2. Ordering Certified Copies Without Overspendingp. 413
  3. When the Information on a Certificate Is Wrongp. 417
  4. A Practical Folder for the First Monthp. 422
  5. Notifying Agencies and Financial Institutionsp. 426
  6. Digital Accounts, Phones, and Subscriptionsp. 431
  7. The Paperwork Checklist That Prevents Repeat Tripsp. 436
  8. Life Insurance: Finding the Policy and Filing a Claimp. 441
  9. Social Security Survivor Benefits: What to Askp. 446
  10. Pensions, Retirement Accounts, and Employer Benefitsp. 451
PART 10Estate follow-through, grief and future plans10 chapters
  1. The Estate: What an Executor Actually Doesp. 456
  2. Debts After Death: Separating Responsibility from Pressurep. 461
  3. The First Financial Ninety Days: Protect, Review, and Follow Throughp. 466
  4. Sudden Death, Complex Circumstances, and Uncertain Answersp. 471
  5. When Money and Family Disagreement Shape the Funeralp. 476
  6. Grief After the Service: Adults, Children, and Unfinished Goodbyesp. 481
  7. Planning Ahead: Choices, Budgets, and Prepaid Contractsp. 486
  8. Writing Instructions Your Family Can Find and Usep. 491
  9. A Family Action Plan for the First Seventy-Two Hoursp. 496
  10. Reliable Help and a Plan for the Months Aheadp. 501

Chapter names and page references are taken from the completed PDF edition.

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Portrait of Diane Hollis, the fictional educational presenter
THE VOICE BEHIND THE PROJECT

A more human way to talk about difficult decisions.

Before You Say Goodbye brings together practical funeral education in one accessible guide. It is written for readers who want to understand their options, compare information, and ask better questions—without unnecessary jargon.

Diane Hollis is the fictional on-screen presenter associated with this educational project. The guide does not claim personal professional experience or licensure as a funeral director.

This book is general U.S. educational information, not individualized legal, medical, tax, or financial advice. Rules and options vary by state, provider, and circumstances.

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